


The Hand That Feeds

by crow_swarm



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Physical Abuse, xemnas is overall just the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 13:56:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crow_swarm/pseuds/crow_swarm
Summary: There's no reason for a man like Xemnas to feel the need to re-assert his authority. Yet he does, he does it often and Saix is always on the receiving end.





	The Hand That Feeds

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work here and i have no idea how ao3 works. of all my drafts, I have no idea how this one got finished.

Xemnas was intimidating. Even before Saix had come to know him, as a teenager he noticed the narrow eyes and intent glare of Ansem's newest apprentice. They never made eye contact in the brief moments they spoke years ago.  
But now, as Xemnas paced slow, scrutinizing circles around Saix amidst where nothing gathers, Saix couldn't help but stare blankly ahead, following the superiors eyes when he passed by. But once the Xemnas' eyes leave his own, Saix could feel them wandering about his body. They picked out every little detail, every inch of Saix's body is being combed over with a fine-toothed comb of judgment and disappointment. He wanted to cry.  
The first time Xemnas did this, he inspected with his hands, running heavy hands over Saix's shoulders, caressing his hips, splaying his hands over Saix's chest but saying nothing. Saix, who typically felt nothing but agonizing rage, felt even more like a stranger in his own skin from then on.  
The glowing yellow eyes meet his own again and the sharp clicking of Xemnas' heels stops. Saix feared what he'd say.  
"Number vii." Xemnas never uses Saix's name. Why would he? To the Superior, all of the organization members were numbers he pulled from a hat. It was just Saix’s number that he pulled most often.  
"Lord Xemnas," Saix responded in a dull monotone. Xemnas lifted a gloved hand to Saix's cheek, gently cupping his hand around it. It's a trick Saix falls for every time as he leans into it and closes his eyes. The judgment he felt burned, he could feel it searing into his skin but the Superior's hand is warm and kind, unlike the rest of him. It reminded him of something he once had but had lost somewhere, he wasn’t sure where. Maybe with his heart or with his home, or maybe even with a friend.  
"On your knees," the Superior commanded. His hand didn't leave Saix's face as he kneeled. His voice made his intent hard to decipher. He was not a man who raised his voice, in fact, he typically only spoke in a deep toneless whisper, one that commanded that anyone who listened be silent, "Look at me." Saix opened his eyes to meet the glowing yellow eyes of the Superior. There was no space for Saix to look away, as the hand caressing his cheek became the hand holding his chin. It held Saix's face in the same manner as a coyote trap snared onto the leg of its prey, no longer warm and kind. Saix knew better than to struggle against it, "Look at me," he whispered. Tears gathered in the corner of Saix's eyes, they looked glassy to the Superior.  
He slid against the white tile floor when the back of the Superior's hand struck the cheek it had gently caressed just moments before. Saix's cry of pain was short and shaky as the tears he tried so hard to hold back fell down his cheeks.  
"Get up," the Superior said. Saix remained on the ground, pressing the blunted ends of his sharp nails of the palms of his fists, "Saix, get up." Xemnas spat Saix's name. They weren't words of encouragement, they were a command which Saix slowly followed, which Saix was stopped from following when the Superior slammed his heel into the back of Saix's head. He kneeled over Saix, gently stroking Saix's hair.  
"You heard me, get up," Xemnas whispered. Saix pressed against the floor, lifting his torso from the ground. Xemnas grabbed Saix's hair and forced him back onto the ground, "Get up," he hissed.  
"I-I can't," Saix whimpered. Xemnas laughed and god, it was the worst sound Saix had ever heard. His vision blurred with the tears welling in his eyes again. Xemnas gently cupped Saix's cheek again.  
Saix could do nothing but cry into Xemnas' hand. Xemnas watched with disinterest as Saix stared at him and wept silently. Saix expected him to slap him again, another one that would send him sliding against the ground but he didn't.  
"Look at me," Xemnas commanded. Saix shriveled away from Xemnas' hand and looked up with his red and puffy eyes. Hair clung to his tear-wet cheeks.  
He stood up. Saix would've followed in action but the Superior's firm "Don't" stopped him, "Stay on your knees. You clearly don't have the power to stand."  
And with that, the Superior disappeared in an encompassing swirl of inky black darkness that rose from the ground and sunk back into where it came from, taking Xemnas with it. Saix remained on the ground, his eyes still swollen with warm salty tears and his face still flushed with fear. This wasn't a new experience, Xemnas had called Saix to where nothing gathers only to degrade and humiliate him before. But this was the first time Xemnas had called Saix by name while doing it and Saix couldn't tell if the Superior acknowledging him by name made the experience better or worse.  
He rolled over and attempted to pull himself off the ground to leave but he couldn’t. The Superior’s words echoed in his head. Xemnas had said all manner of insulting things to Saix but Saix always had the mind to tell himself that they were inherently untrue. However, this time, Saix couldn’t do that. He was weak and he genuinely believed it.


End file.
